NCookieAA: Round 1, Flight 4

June 30, 2014

PF Ginger Man
Pocky Choc
Oreos, choc cream
Matt's Choc Chip
PF Sausalito
Keebler Fudge Shop Deluxe Grahams
Peek Freans gingersnaps
Pizzelle
Chips Deluxe Fudge Stripes
Jaffacakes
Royal Dansk Danish Butter Cookies
PF Chesapeake
EL Fudge Double-Stuffed
Mother's Circus Animal Cookies, frosted
Dare Maple Leaf Cream
Manischewitz macaroons
McDonald's Character Cookies
LU Pim's Raspberry
Hydrox
Nilla Wafers

Well, this is interesting: a bunch of cult classics all clustered together, along with a few I've never tried and a few I just ignore when browsing for cookies (no offense, Chesapeake fans). Aaaaand one that's visually disgusting, yet irresistible.

I won't be voting for the Pooblobwiches Keebler insists on calling EL Fudge Double Stuffed, however. I've got to go Nillae (microwave 'em for 15-20 seconds, then perch them on your favorite sherbet or just eat 'em straight); Hydroces (the Oreo's superior cousin); the clumpy, dry Man-aroon in the bread-crumb tin; the Danish Butter, almost as much for the handy tin as for the crunchy, crumbly, rock-sugared sleeves of heaven inside (I have many fond memories of lounging around my dad's cramped top-floor "study" as a kid, reading while he paid bills or cataloged his coins; D1's storage system for various tchotckes and buttons of import is also a five-decade history of Royal Dansk fonts); and the Danish Butter's brother in visible-sugar accessorizing, the Ginger Man.

And I think a few of these might actually finish in your top five, too, as Hydrox fans are few but devoted and the Nilla Wafer is a classic. But I also see the oft-seconded Dare Maple Leaf Cream finishing high (and boy do I want to try those), along with one of the Keebs (probably the Grahams; y'all love a graham-adjacent snack) and the Happy Meal character cookies of yore. -- Sarah D. Bunting

* * * * *

As a chocolate sandwich cookie concept, I get it. As a name, however? Hydrox is one of the most bizarre decisions. Right along with the old-timey term "phosphorus" for a soda shop soda, Hydrox smacks of food invented in a sterile chemical-filled lab with people wearing clean suits. Which I guess it is. And which, to be fair, I guess ALL of these cookies are, but you don't need to remind people of that; it's so unappetizing. I know it won't ever happen, but it would be kind of interesting to see them go up against Oreo's.

I totally see the Farm Chesapeake and Sausalito leading this particular race and I'm not mad at it -- those are two of my favorite cookies of all time. (However, I will SWEAR they have gotten smaller in circumference since I was a kid.) I see Dansk and Nilla's up there, too. Although Nilla's are meh for me now, they're totally the training ground cookies you're given as a kid -- along with Lorna Doone's -- before you're deemed ready for the harder stuff, so I see them being classically popular enough to push on through. Dansk is a definite, I think, because those shiny blue tins are filled with butter-drenched heaven. Also, they were the cookies that kept on giving. You'd think you'd gotten down to the last cookie but no! There was another one and another one and ANOTHER ONE! And after that? There were more layers! God, life was delightful before I learned how to count.

I'm not sure on the fifth, though. Maybe Manischewitz macaroons will duke it out with Dare maple, but man, I wouldn't hate to see Mother's frosted Animals get pulled along. Of course, I was pretty wrong about Mother's last time, so maybe it'll be a Pocky or anise-y Pizzelle surprise upset. --Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

VOTE!